Trigger warning: Themes of baby loss

“There was no real reason why, but I just had a feeling. I’d been into hospital two weeks before, concerned about movement,” Ann Marie recalls. “We went to hospital again and I thought it would just be a routine check-up. But after the scan, everything went quiet. A doctor came and said, ‘We’re so sorry.’”

Summer’s heart had stopped.

“I kept thinking, this can’t be. She’s due. She’s literally due.”

Ann Marie was induced and gave birth to her daughter naturally.

“Part of me didn’t want to, because I knew that would be the last time she was physically with me. She was born stillborn. No heartbeat. No sound. When a baby is born, you expect to hear them cry. When you don’t, and it’s just silent… your world stops.”

Ann Marie and her family had just a few precious days to hold Summer, to make memories that would need to last a lifetime.

“You expect to bring home a baby. When you don’t, you don’t know what to do. All the memories you’d planned to make at home, they’re gone. All you’ve got are those few days in that hospital room to get a lifetime of moments.”

Summer was born seven years ago and every year since, Ann Marie and her family have attended the Jessop Wing Annual Baby Memorial Service.

They recently attended ‘Don’t Hush’, a creative session to support people who have experienced still births and neonatal death at Millenium Gallery in Sheffield led by jewellery designer Maria Hanson and the Arts in Health Team from Sheffield Teaching Hospitals, made possible thanks to the generous supporters of the charity.

While attending the Don’t Hush sessions, both Ann Marie and her fiancé Corey were presented with boxes to create an item of jewellery.

“I saw my box, and it said mother of pearl. When I found out what we were making, I thought...wedding dress. Somehow, somewhere, this has got to be attached to my wedding dress. Summer might not be with us physically, but she’s with us in other ways. To me it felt like she was sending a little message to remind me she’s with me.

Without the charity funding those sessions, that wouldn’t have happened. Yes, we still would’ve had a special day… but this made it even more meaningful.”

During Baby Loss Awareness Week, Ann Marie is hoping that by sharing Summer’s memory, she can support other families that have experienced baby loss.

“If we help just one family through this, to say you’re not alone, there is support out there and it’s not a taboo subject, then Summer’s legacy continues.

We’re so thankful to the charity for funding these sessions and for helping the memorial service happen. At the memorial service when we hear each baby’s name read out, it’s a reminder that they are still important. They will always be our children.”

This Baby Loss Awareness Week, we remember Summer Ann, and every baby lost too soon.

Watch Ann Marie’s story in full:

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